What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

As I think about starting a blog, I wonder how many people can relate to my situation.  How many of you are climbing an unexpected mountains in life that takes everything out of you?  Please understand, I am not the type of person that likes to sit around & think about how bad things are.  I like to make the most of life.  I like to enjoy what life has to offer.  So take into consideration that this blog is not just for venting about my current situation; it's for recording what is going on in my life, & hopefully when all is said & done it will be a venue to show off how my God turned this trial into a trophy.

Last August my life as i knew it began to change.  I had an unexplainable episode that took me out for about a month & a half.  I found myself reacting to all of my food, having a hard time breathing, & not being able to have a lot of sensory"stimulation"...good or bad became to much for me.  I tried figuring out what was wrong on my own, but couldn't really figure it out.  My food intake was exceptional.  I had an amazing workout program...thanks to my trainer/husband.  By mid October, things began to calm down & get back to normal.  however, one of my practitioners noticed that all the organs on my right side were weak.  This "finding" came just days before my first neurological episode on November 1st. This episode left me with a right-sided deficit 4 days before throwing my 6yr old & 3yr old daughters their double birthday party.  I am a super hands on, crafty mom.  this new right-sided deficit left me unable to finish most of what i had planned to make for their party. I was really looking forward to making their outfits. I wasn't able to finish the girls outfits b/c i couldn't concentrate hard enough to tell my right hand how to thread the needle to my surger.  i finally gave up & bought outfits at target the day of the party. as petty as it sounds, i was so looking forward to putting the whole party together, & that just didn't happen.  I am sure no one really noticed, but i did.

 it took me about 4 or 5 days to realize what had really happened to my brain & body.  by thanksgiving, i began having excruciating headaches.  my dr. informed kyle & i that i had infact had a cerebral cortex injury in the left side of my brain, & this was causing me to have TIA's (mini-strokes).  He also informed us that i have been having these TIA's undetected for 15-20yrs.  my dr. explained to us that the reverse curve in my neck was the cause of my brain injury.  he told us that reverse curves like mine only comes from some sort of trauma...trauma that probably when undetected until now b/c kids are resilient; my body was able to compensate for a long time, but at this point it had had enough!  kyle & i knew that i had a reverse curve, but didn't know how to properly correct the curve in my neck.

  I was fortunate enough to find a group of dr's who specialize in spinal curve correction.  my first visit with my maximized living doctors (dr rob vasquez & dr. jim johnston), i was told that i had a -14 degree curve, & that my body was creating disease & unable to function properly (which explained why at 28 i was having TIA's).  i feel so grateful to have dr rob & dr jim on my team!  in just 3 months, my neck went form a -14 degree curve to a +11 degree curve.  i had never had results like that with any therapy, adjustments, or exercises i had done before.

however, b/c my body is still degenerating faster than it is healing, I began to have more "episodes".  in February I gained 22lbs in 6 wks (not normal!) & continued having neurological episodes.  During this time, i continued with my treatments & rehabilitation.  still trying to keep things together with my family, but not really able to wash laundry, do dishes & play outside with my kiddos w/o experiencing extreme fatigue.

by mid-may at a re-evaluation appointment with my ML Dr's we were told that my neck had begun to go back...i lost 2 degrees in my curve that i had previously gained.  they were not really sure why i had begun to regress, but felt like as if i had a lot more going on in my body (most likely high amounts of toxins), & this was interfering with my curve correction.

the first of june, kyle & i decided to recruit another doctor to our team.  we began to consult with Dr. Raymond Hilu from the Hilu Institute in Marbella, Spain.  We were referred to him by Dr. Rob.  He had a good friend go to the Hilu Institute to kick an aggressive melanoma cancer (btw he beat it & is healthy!).  i sent off my blood sample, & got back some interesting results...some of which are : E. Coli, liver toxemia, acidic organisms, microclots, autoimmune behavior...just to name a few. he gave some dietary & supplemental suggestions.  the most interesting suggestion he gave me was to avoid stressful situations at all cost, & to especially avoid confrontation.  i am to only respond to confrontations via hand written note or e-mail.  this last recommendation cracked me up, but has been very helpful!  we are suppose to recheck my blood in 6 months.

on june 13th, things got alot more difficult.  I had a TIA that was much worse than the first one in November. it left my brain scrambled.  the next day I couldn't pour a glass of water & listen to someone talk to me.  trying to get to the bottom of things, we recruited Dr Hollen Stone just up the road in friendly Frisco, Tx to be on my team of doctors.  Dr. Stone specializes in endicrinology...primarily thyroid conditions & diabetes, & has some really interesting research posted on her blog that perked our interests.  she is known for success with patients like me. At my first consultation with Dr Stone, she felt as though i was a good candidate for Hoshimoto disease (an autoimmune disease that is turned on by a compromised immune system; this disease eats away at the tissue of the thyroid glad.) because of the symptoms i have & b/c of my genetic history ( my mom has hoshimoto & graves disease...both autoimmune diseases that attack the thyroid).  We ran the antibody test that detects hoshimoto.  Wednesday kyle & i went in for a second consultation.  Dr. Stone explained to us that the test was negative.  She said it could be a false negative, but we're hoping the test was accurate b/c that means i don't have disease that is eating away at my thyroid.  however, the test did show that i have antibodies attacking something in my body.  those antibodies could be attacking my brain, my liver...really who knows.  Dr Stone did not feel comfortable beginning a treatment plan without knowing what was going on.  i left her office with orders for more tests.  i told kyle that i felt like a rab lat (interpretation----lab rat...i am having trouble putting things together...not all the time; just enough to really frustrate me.  especially when i am misunderstood).  I had 6 vials of blood taken, urine test, GI test, adrenal saliva test, & a full panel hormone saliva test ordered.  now we get to hurry up & wait.  it will be at least 4 weeks before all of the results come in.

for now, i am still dealing with all of the aggravating issues.  last night i had another TIA; that makes 2 episodes in just 2 1/2 weeks.  i have never had them so close together.  this one left me with a pretty good right-sided deficit.  i started stumbling today too...that's a fun new symptom.  my brain feels so scrambled; i get super confused & overwhelmed when i try to talk on the phone.  it's really irritating b/c yesterday was such a good day.  i got to take the girls swimming by myself in the middle of the day, i got to workout & even felt as if i didn't need to go in for my adjustment that afternoon. unfortunately, later that evening, i began to feel the TIA come on.  i woke up wanting to make breakfast like i planned & go workout, but knew i couldn't.

 i never imagined that at 28 i would be so disabled.  i keep playing Blessing by laura story over & over again today. this song really says what i feel....the anger, the doubt & the knowing that God is all loving & all powerful.  there is a line in the song "What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise"; it really speaks to me.  at times it is super frustrating when i can't do things...especially for my girls. i wonder why do i have to do deal with this now? I have been so faithful to take care of my body these last 6yrs; why me, why my family, why now?  fortunately i don't let myself think like that for long.  the holy spirit is so sweet to remind me that i serve an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving God who has me in the palm of His hand.  also MY God doesn't waste pain!  He can turn this trial into a trophy!  I am standing the promise that this trial will be mercy in disguise!